The Hiding An Edit
by fea
Summary: If you're read The Hiding (by Alassea) well this is a handy edit >=) Enjoy!!! And I want reviews dammit, don't care what they are... Ehehehe...


Ok, so if you wanna read this you have to read Alassea's story called The Hiding. I sort of "edited" her part of… chapter 2 I think. Not actually sure… but you'll know because you will have read it. =P

Disclaimer: Bugger all of this is mine, except Legolas and Draco. Their loving is allll mine *cackles evilly*

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It felt good to be back at the Burrow. Harry could sleep in for as long as he wanted, there was as much food as he could eat, he could practice Quidditch without being seen by muggles; but most of all, he was around people who cared for him. 

Mrs Weasley in particular seemed to spend all her time checking whether Harry was ok iby probing in his ears with a round ended spatula/i, and watched all his Quidditch practices fearfully, as if Voldemort himself was going to swoop down out of the sky and pluck Harry ilike a goose/i, from his broom. 

There were no more nightmares, and Harry almost forgot his troubles as Ron beat ihis face/i yet again at wizard chess, or he helped Ginny with her homework, or he polished his beloved Firebolt iwhile grinning evilly at a jealous Ron and muttering things under his breath like "my preciousssssssssss"/i.

For his birthday, Mrs Weasley took everyone for ice cream at Florean Fortescue's in Diagon Alley as a special treat ibecause they'd all managed to scrub the bog so it shone like a baby's butt/i. Hermione met them there, and Harry felt truly happy for the first time in months, as he laughed and joked with his friends iand they all got high..."on life"/i. 

Ron gave him the Quidditch Annual- i'Legolas and Draco skip naked through fields! Read inside for more details and close up pictures!'/i, Hermione a bumper pack of sugar quills ("They might pursuade you to study for our OWL's") iwhich had a variety of messages on them- the most popular being 'suckle me'/i, Mrs Weasley yet another knitted jumper iwith a special handy pocket ;) for whatever he may need it for *cough*horse riding*cough*/i, and Fred and George a big box of their new sweets manufactured with Harry's Triwizard winnings iwhich the scammed out of his pocket when he was distracted by hilarious visions of Russian dancing grannies./i

"It's super sticky bubblegum." grinned George.

"Yeah, blows huge bubbles, but if you might have a bit of trouble getting it off your ieye/i after it pops!" laughed Fred

Harry laughed as well, and dug into his ice cream iwith his spork, like an Ethiopian pigeon farmer/i. The sun was shining and he couldn't think of a better way to celebrate his birthday iapart from maybe buying some sun specs because he was being blinded/i, and soon he would be back at Hogwarts. Even his OWL's seemed a long way off, despite insistent reminders from Hermione. Yes, things definitely seemed to be looking up iRon's nose.../i

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In an underground iworms/i lair in the South of France, inear Condom (real place!)/i, a man's screams of agony echoed through dark tunnels. Leonard Morthang was under the Cruciatus curse.

"Please Master, this was totally unexpected, iI never expected her to steal your last Rolo!-"/i

"Silence! Your daughter has wronged me, and you shall suffer the consequences."

"No Master, spare me! I have always been faithful. I will vow to find the brat and kill her before your face iwith vicious beatations/i if you will be merciful to me."

"Yes, you have been faithful, though of course you could never measure up to Malfoy or Snape," the Dark Lord pondered iwhile stroking his invisible beard. 

~If only I had a real beard~ he thought to himself ~I could twist the ends menacingly, and it would look so good poking out of the end of my cloak, I would be a true evil fiend~/i

"I will accept your offer. But merciful? I am not merciful. Only the weak are merciful. iMy mum is merciful," he glared "and where is my mum now?" he asked

"Where?" Leonard the-meant-to-be-nice-granny-name asked fearfully

"BUTLINS!" Voldemort cried

Leonard the-meant-to-be-nice-granny-name flinched at the sound of this. He seemed almost at the edge of asking his master why he would do such a thing to his own mother, but luckily he didn't, and saved his saggy skin.

"If you do not obey my commands, you will be there too, singing and dancing." the Dark Lord said, towering over the other man

~Not with the cup and sequinned clothes~ Leonard the-meant-to-be-nice-granny-name begged silently

"With the cup and sequinned clothes." Voldemort said

Leonard the-meant-to-be-nice-granny-name gasped, and bowed down to his master.

"I will find her and bring her here. I will sniff her out using my trusty fell beast and bring her to you." he said, his voice stuttering slightly at the terror of being stuck in Butlins forever.

"Go." Voldemort said

Leonard the-meant-to-be-nice-granny-name bowed and hurried out of the room. Just 

as he was leaving, he heard a fell voice in the air.

"Butlinssssssssssssssssssssss"/i

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A/N: Ok, so I went a bit crazee with the adding on, I just got so into it!!! Enjoy, you are specially chosen to view the works of 'Satch! Master of soiling stories! ...Inc'

If I get any reviews, lol even one =P then I may continue!!! Haha! I r0X0rz!!!1

So yea, just if you're confused, Draco and Legolas have this whole nekkid relationship going on, and the pocket is needed to carry certain *cough* packages on their journeys. 

The high on life thing is just because some dick I know (love her really =P) said "I guess I'm just high on life I guess" and it just cracked me up. Haha!

Leonard the-meant-to-be-nice-granny is because Leonard isn't an evil name. Stoopfid Leafy. So yea, personally I think Jeff is a far eviller name. =)

If you have never seen a Butlins ad, the cup and sequinned dress will not mean anything to you. There is a woman who dances in a shatty disco, wearing a gross sequinned dress, and is holding a cup. She is a mong.

Lastly, the fell beast would be one of the fell beasts the Nazgul ride in LoTR and this one is called Bob. Be nice to him, he wears spikes and can skewer you. 

*points to the mangled body of Laura Hughes* Now you see what I mean.

Ok I can't do Italics. So pretend it's Italic. If anyone wants to review me, and tell me how to do Italics, I will love you forever.


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